Captain Ryan x First Mate 5ever!
by AvisQuest9513
Summary: Or how Leo discovered the wonders and horrors of Space Heroes yaoi.


**Title:** Captain Ryan/First Mate 5ever! (Or How Leo Discovered the Wonders and Horrors of Space Heroes Yaoi)

**Fandom:** Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2k12)

**Rating:** T (to be safe)

**Pairing(s):** None, TMNT characters-wise. Captain Ryan and his First Mate, on the other hand…Also, Irma/Leo Dorkmance (okay, so they haven't officially meet - yet - but still!).

**Disclaimer:** Do I look like Peter Laird to you? (Or Kevin Eastman, for that matter?)

* * *

As Leo trudged back to the lair with his brothers after a long mission, a smile graced his lips as he thought about the geeky conversations that await him with a new human friend of theirs, Irma.

The turtle brothers met the Miss Langinstein after she had stumbled upon their lair one afternoon. She had followed April to try to find out where exactly she's been heading off to the last few weeks, the bespectacled girl said. Raph frowned, his hand gripping his sai as he eyed her, but his suspicion melted away when April, upon seeing the human stranger, ran up to her, pulling her in for a hug.

Explanations ensued, Irma Langinstein – "Please, just call me Irma," she said with a smile as she pushed her glasses up to the bridge of her nose – told them with fervent glee that cockroaches can live for a week without their heads; Raph swooned, Mikey laughed, then got pummeled; Donnie and Leo facepalmed, while April stifled a giggle – Casey, though, showed no restraint in that regard – all in all, a pretty average Thursday. (Discounting the Kraang trying to invade New York with mind-controlled poodles later that night, that is.)

As several weeks flew by, Irma fitted in quite nicely with the group. Raph stayed clear of her more than the others due to her roach-loving ways – especially when he witnessed her cooing at a baby roach – siding with Casey on the matter of the girl's rather strange hobbies.

Donnie and Irma got along splendidly, however. In fact, when she stepped inside Donnie's lab for the first time, her breath hitched and her eyes widened as she took in all the whozits and whatzits galore. Since then, she has become a frequent lab partner of the purple-clad turtle – looking over his notes, brainstorming ideas with him over a hot cup of coffee – Seriously, what is it with brainiacs and coffee? Isn't it just bean water? – and assisting in the tinkering of new creations. (Leo could have sworn he distinctly heard the duo gushing about plans to build water gun umbrellas with protective shields. He's not sure why, but he thinks Mikey might have something to do with it The younger turtle was rather famous – or rather infamous, depending on who you asked – for his water balloons, after all.)

Mikey was overjoyed. His baby brother loved making new friends – as could plainly be seen when, instead of being stiff and guarded like his brothers upon Irma's intrusion, he beamed at the mysterious girl, urging her to not be shy and to come closer.

"C'mon, we don't bite – well, not unless you want us to," Mikey said, giving a cheeky wink at the gaping girl.

Raph promptly slapped him on the back of his head.

As for Leo, himself, he must admit he had his reservations. He, too, held his hand tight around the handle of his weapon like Raph, eyes alert – searching for any malevolent intent in the girl's eyes, or an innocent gleam even. (Sometimes a wolf may wear a sheep's wool, after all.) The last time a human stumbled upon their lair, he mutated into a creature so inhuman, that he donned a cloak of slimy mutagen with guts and organs all piled together in a gruesome mixture. (He would never want something like that to happen again. Not now. Not ever.)

To his surprise, though, Leo found himself bonding with Irma perhaps the most out of all his brothers – maybe even more than Donnie.

("Wait – you like Space Heroes, too?" Leo said, wide-eyed when she sat down next to him during a TV showing of a lost Space Heroes episode and asked him to pass the popcorn.

Irma grinned at him, her teeth covered in tiny kernels. "Like it? I love it! I have every generation as well as the old movies on Blu-Ray brand spankin' new and digitally restored. Wanna marathon them with me?"

Leo took her hands in his, his eyes impossibly large and sparkling with joy. "I think I love you."

In the sanctuary of his vintage comic book, Raph groaned.

"Great. Now, there's two of him," he grumbled as he thumbed through the pages, trying to ignore the cries of delight from the space dorks when Captain Ryan slapped, yet another hapless crew member.)

Just last week, Irma introduced him to this blogging website called Tumblr. Leo was very much tickled pink to find a thriving Space Heroes community on the site.

Irma, then beamed and told him that it was growing by the numbers due to the recent release of the reboot.

If that was the case, then, Leo takes back most of his grievances about the movie. It doesn't seem THAT bad now that he thought about it. All the TV spots and the new trailer seemed to have the characters' personalities intact, at least. (But…for the life of him, Leo still couldn't understand why the developers thought it would be a good idea to have Captain Ryan pelvic thrusting in an elevator. Who does that? And…why was it so strangely alluring?)

His face aglow as he scrolled through endless Space Heroes posts, he unwittingly squealed, causing Irma to chuckle. Leo immediately blushed, begging her to pinkie promise she won't tell Raph he did that.

(Irma quirked a brow. "But I thought you don't even have a pinkie?"

Face a soft pink, Leo pouted, holding his finger up like the little tea girl showed him. "Not important.")

Since then, Leo quickly became an avid member of the Space Heroes Tumblr community; posting, liking, and reblogging was a way of life, a way of sustaining his being. It was like a whole nother world, a whole nother family – a world and family that he shares alone with Irma, his bosom friend.

Today was the day when news from Comic Con was to arrive – Leo cried silently for many a night, staring up at the gargantuan grinning Captain Ryan poster on his ceiling, lamenting not being able to go ("Oh, Ryan-senpai, WHY?!"); Irma consoled him with cat gifs as therapy – and Leo was beyond excited.

In fact, he felt ready to burst out of his shell!

Raph noticed his grin and scowled, grimacing as he plucked a stubborn piece of seaweed off his head. "What you so happy about, Fearless? In case you didn't notice, that lovesick Kraang sea monster – "

"More like Sheldon the Sensual Sea Serpent," Mikey said, wiggling his brows.

Raph looked at Mikey and gave a shudder of disgust.

" – just tried to get its freak on with the T-sub again – "

"Yeah. You think he'd get that we're not playing hard to get by now," Donnie muttered.

"So, the question is this, Leo" – Raph smirked, crossing his arms – "You into giant sea monsters instead of bad girls, now, or something?"

Leo spluttered. "W-What? No! I was just – "

"Happy at the thought of chatting with your girlfriend?" Mikey said, fluttering his eyes outrageously up at Leo and making kissy faces.

Leo rolled his eyes and pushed Mikey's face back, making him fall flat on his butt with a surprised "oof!"

(Leo internally cringed.)

Oops.

Sorry, bro.

"No. W-Well, yes," Leo said, a tad flushed, "But not in the way you think!"

His brothers – even Donatello – sniggered.

Leo sighed and massaged his temples. "How many times do I have to tell you guys that Irma is a friend that just so happens to be a girl?"

Raph hummed, bringing a finger up to his muddy chin in mock-contemplation. "Gee, I don't know, Leo – maybe about as many times as Mikey needs to learn to be thankful he has such a thick skull – "

"Hey!" Mikey said, glaring up at Raph from the floor. The glare was playful, though, as brotherly teasing was not something foreign to them.

Donnie chimed in not a moment after, commenting on an obscure fact he learned about reptilian skulls in one of April's textbooks.

With that, his brothers conversed and Leo took that as an opportunity to sneak away.

* * *

After Leo slipped away into his room, he plopped down on his bed, flipped his laptop open, and logged back onto his Tumblr. He smiled. What sweet solitude. As he checked out his dashboard for any Comic Con updates – he squeed when he saw a video of the Space Heroes panel and liked it, so he could watch it later – he saw that Irma (or purple-rats-amaze-me) reblogged something.

purple-rats-amaze-me made a post containing: 'space heroes movie reboot', 'space heroes 2k14', and 'space heroes 2014' – _click to show_

In the tags, it also read: #cap don't read if you know what's good for you, #spoiler alert my dear captainkatana01, #seriously, #don't click, #fanfic, #NSFW, #captain ryan x first mate 5ever, and #OTP.

Huh.

OTP?

What in the name of the Dauntless does that mean?

Leo sent Irma a message.

"What does OTP mean?" he wrote, "Is it a misspelling of top, or something?"

Irma replied instantly.

"lol, Sometimes, I forget you aren't fluent in Tumblrspeak yet. XD OTP stands for One True Pairing. It's, basically, the ship you like the most, Leo. If Donnie was a shipper, for example, he'd ship Apriltello (Donatello x April). (You so know he would; boy is so obvious.) Got it? :)"

Leo frowned at his computer screen.

Shipping? People actually like the idea of fictional characters in romantic relationships? Well, that was strange…though not as strange as being a mutant turtle, he supposed.

Shrugging, he wrote that he was going to read the post, anyways.

"Your funeral," Irma shot back.

Leo took a deep breath and clicked on _click to show_.

The story unfurled before him.

It started out innocent enough. The author seemed friendly enough ("first Space Heroes fanfic! tell me what you think, plz! 3"). The writing was even not that bad.

But his eyes bugged out when he came across a certain part.

"_So, Captain, it appears that we're finally…alone," said Crankshaw with a purr as he ran his hands across Captain Ryan's chest, loving the feel of his leader's strong, toned muscles._

Leo scratched his head. Since when is Crankshaw so smooth? Shouldn't he be hesitant? Where did all of this sudden confidence come from, anyway? (And where could Leo get it, himself?)

_Captain Ryan leered and wrapped his arms around his First Mate's waist, bringing the younger man closer to him._

"_Why, indeed, we are, Crankshaw," Captain Ryan said with pure lust in his smexy voice._

_Crankshaw hooked his arms around the older man's thick, manly neck and swooned. "Oh, Captain! Take me now, you sexy beast!"_

"_It would be my honor, baby," Captain Ryan crooned with utter devotion as he slapped Crankshaw's tight, little ass, causing his First Mate to moan like a bitch in heat._

Leo stared, gobsmacked, unable to tear his eyes away. His honor? Slapping his first mate's butt? No, no. Captain Ryan wouldn't –

_The two new lovers soon discarded their clothes, knowing there is no need for the kind of fun that's about to happen. _

Leo's face reddened.

_Then, Captain Ryan put his love sausage into Crankshaw's tunnel of love. It was awesome. Crankshaw loved it so much, he, like, instantly came like the inexperienced, virginal uke that he is. (A/N: How embarrassing! Am I right? XD)_

_Crankshaw cried, hanging onto his studly leader for dear life. "Oh, Captain! Harder! Hard – _"

At this point, Leo shut his laptop and clutched onto his pillow, his face apple red.

Captain Ryan…and Crankshaw…together?! What the –

A knock on the door.

Leo lifted his head.

"Oh, Leo," Mikey said in a sing-song voice, "Get your fangirl goggles ready! That totally not lame show you like is on – "

Leo bolted out the door, screaming something about needing to consult his Spacenik queen.

Mikey blinked. "Um, dinner's ready, too?"

Giving a shrug, he ambled back to the kitchen, whistling a jaunty tone as if his brother did not just run past him like a man possessed.

"And people say I'm weird," Mikey said with a laugh.

* * *

**(A/N): **If you could take the time, please review. It would be very much appreciated.

Thank you!


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